The Devil’s in the Girl Scout Cookies

20 Mar

Spring.  It’s the time of rebirth and starting anew. Snow melts.  Flowers bloom.  And the Girl Scouts sell cookies.  There has to be some unlisted ingredient, some sort of something that makes Thin Mints, especially frozen ones, irresistible.  An additive so addictive that the Food and Drug Association has yet to identify, define, and test it.  That’s the only reason I can think of as to why there are seven boxes on my kitchen counter.  Well, there are actually six now since my boyfriend polished off a box of Tagalongs today.

My best friend’s daughter sells these devilishly delicious treats each year, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t support one of my favorite kids and her Girl Scout troop?  There are numerous reasons as to why I shouldn’t purchase or consume them.  The first being my fibromyalgia.  I find that when I eat processed foods, especially sweets, I wind up in more pain than if I had abstained from the Thin Mints stocked in the freezer.  The second reason is that eating Samoas has never helped me lose weight; in fact, it’s just the opposite.  I mean, who can really just eat two cookies when they are so damn good?

I bet that if the Girl Scouts figured out a way for folks to mainline cookies into their bloodstreams, there would be an even longer line around the grocery store parking lot.  Once you open up a box, there’s no stopping you from shoving them all in your face as fast as possible.  And the fact that there is only a short time of year when these cookies are sold makes them even more desirable.  There are probably people out there who try to take out loans or refinance their mortgages just to be prepared for Girl Scout Cookie season.  Maybe the government should take a cue from these business savvy girls.  Imagine if all the money collected from the sale of cookies went to decreasing the national debt; we’d be free and clear by May.  Okay, that may be a bit of hyperbole, but those Girl Scouts have to make oodles of money from this one fundraiser.

Regardless of why I bought so many boxes, I’m going to have to figure out what to do with them.  That is, besides eating them all and being in so much pain that I can’t even move which will lead to me eating more and gaining about 500 pounds.  Awesome.  Way to go, Girl Scouts.

One Response to “The Devil’s in the Girl Scout Cookies”

  1. MarcyLuvsPop March 20, 2012 at 11:15 am #

    Lol so true!!

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